URL: http://www.esparzaspeakers.com/blog/index.php/view/27/How_to_Avoid_Meeting_Muck
This post was written by Cyndi Maxey a while back, but it remains extremely timely. The fact is that in light of the many struggles that the meeting industry is having and the numerous challenges that face meeting planners today, her observations and ideas are more valuable than ever. At a time when holding meetings can be problematic, it is more important than ever to make sure that every event meets expectations and achieves the stated objectives. With that in mind, read what Cyndi has to be say about avoiding "meeting muck."
Why is it that the most pleasant person in everyday life turns into the most difficult at the monthly meeting? What is it about the Board table that converts team players into silent observers or arrogant warmongers? How do you accurately describe the negative effects of the two-hour conference call-pandemonium?-boredom? These scenarios typify a common, pervasive problem in business and professional life today-meeting muck. Meeting muck is the oozy, slimy, muddy, cloudy, insidious gook that invades even the best-intended meetings and conference calls. It dirties the cleanest of agendas; it drains the most energetic of work relationships-and sadly, slow potential productivity. Meeting muck is exasperating because, like mud after a heavy rain, it seems to return and return no matter how hard you try to eliminate it.
We trainers and developers like to talk about meetings as team efforts, but in the final analysis, a really great meeting is the product of really great individual efforts-mixed with a strong dose of willpower and discipline. The late Chicago Bears' running back Walter Payton said, "You can't change the team until you change yourself." He spoke of football, but it works for meetings, too.
To change yourself, first be aware of the common behaviors that slow down productive communication. Second, recognize when you are the one demonstrating those behaviors. Third, change your style and practice positive, helpful behaviors even in the face of others' inability to do so. This is often difficult. Others on the conference call or around the board table can unknowingly lead you to immature and ineffective comments. Be careful. Take deep breaths. Keep your contributions healthy. When you sense muck, carry your own mop. Don't wait for someone else.
10 Common Causes of Meeting Muck & What to Do about Them
Agreeing with everything. This sounds like a misnomer but it gets in the way of progress. You're probably trying to save face or politick in some way if you're doing this. Mop-up Tip: Play devil's advocate. Say you'd like to stir-up more discussion by presenting the opposite point-of-view. Example: "We have good reason to be happy with recent conference attendance; just for fun, though, let's consider what we'd do if next year's economy goes flat and discretionary income changes. I think we should be prepared."
Dominating discussion. If you're doing this, you're trying too hard. Listen to yourself; if you hear your own voice longer than a few minutes at a time, you're not practicing conversation-you're practicing lecture. Mop-up Tip: Look at the faces around you and watch for signs of unrest-fidgeting, eye-rolling, side glances, etc. When you see these, people are antsy and ready for their turn. Over-use of handouts is another red flag. If you're on a conference call, make a concerted effort to time yourself for three-minute contributions only. Watch your watch. Example: "Here are my three main points about selecting a new vendor for the upgrade. I'm sure many of you have others, and I'd appreciate your consideration of these."
Side-chatting. This is just poor manners. Sadly, it is observed more and more. As technology influences our listening ability, we become easily distracted. Too many younger workers, especially, think it's OK to sidetrack during business. It just looks and sounds bad, and it's annoying to all. Mop-up Tip: When you have an urge to chat, jot a note in the margin of your handout to remind yourself to do so later. When others try to start side conversations with you, gesture for them to write something down or mouth the word, "Later." Example: Write a note to yourself, such as "Ask Jolene why George isn't here today and why she has a new laptop."
Complaining. A meeting is not a venting session unless it is specifically designated as one. The tendency to complain without suggesting or proposing a solution that can be discussed opening is frustrating for all. Mop-up Tip: Don't complain without contributing a solution idea. Example: "My department really got confused during the last IT training session; could we possibly allow more time for the next one?"
Digging up dirty laundry. All solutions lie in the present and the future. Dwelling on old mistakes will only muck up the clarity of new ideas. Mop-up Tip: Resist any urge to relive the past. If you must, mention it briefly with an extremely relevant correlation in the present or future-tied directly to problem-solving. Example: "Three years ago we made that mistake: we focused on our brochure rather than our member needs. What can we learn from that today is to design a brochure that's crisp but very clear about the benefits. We want to make money, not lose it."
Allowing too many chiefs. This happens especially to the kindest facilitators and meeting leaders. In the spirit of participation, too many people talk too often with too much power. Mop-up Tip: You don't have to be the leader to help cleanup this one. You can actually say, "Joe is in charge today. I feel we should let him decide the next step." And if you are the leader, you can make a mental note when discussion is getting out of hand. You then need to make a clear statement of control. Example: "It's clear there are many strong opinions here. In the interest of time, I'd like to suggest we go with the original plan and fine-tune the plan at a later date."
Displaying anger. The best teams have conflict. The best meetings negotiate through it all the time. However, expressive, hurtful anger clogs up progress. Mop-up Tip: When you feel angry or frustrated, take a deep breath and make an I-Statement as calmly as possible. Example: "When I hear this Board talk about the budget at every decision point, I get frustrated because I feel we should balance other things with it-like employee satisfaction and lessons learned when we take shortcuts. Is it possible that we can put budget aside for a few minutes to get at other issues?"
Making assumptions. This happens at meetings when nobody paraphrases or checks in. Especially on conference calls, this problem pervades. Mop-up Tip: Use paraphrasing and questioning frequently. Example: "What I hear you saying is you're bored with this approach. Am I correct?"
Interrupting. This is one of the simplest muck-ups, yet it's one of the hardest to cure. It's just a bad habit. Mop-up Tip: Ask a colleague to say your name out loud each time you interrupt someone at the next meeting. (Make sure others at the meeting know that you're working on this.) Have patience and remember that your speed of thinking and listening may be difference from others' and that you'll never get the main point if you interrupt. You'll only be seen as rude.
Prejudging. This will be evident at a meeting where an idea is brought forward and members pounce on it. Every idea deserves to be aired; often the best plans results from what appear at first to be misdirected ideas. Leaders especially need to be aware of pre-judging and allowing all opinions to be heard-realistically, of course, within the time frame. Mop-up Tip: When you catch yourself jumping too quickly down the throat of an idea, stop and ask an open question instead. Example: "That's interesting, Sally. How do you figure that baby ducks will be a trendy theme for the 2006 sales effort?"
Bonus Tip: Living in the Past. This tendency creeps into a meeting that is overrun with old-timers (old-timers of any age) who have been around too long to accept new ideas and new approaches. You can detect this muck-up easily when you hear these phrases: "We tried that before and it didn't work." Or, "We lost money on that before." Or, "That idea comes up every year." Mop-up Tip: When you hear nay-saying from yourself or others, acknowledge the thought and ask to hear or to be heard anyway. Example: "I appreciate your perspective, Joe. But let's hear the rest of the plan. It might work this time in this economy."
Meeting muck-don't let your meetings get bogged down in it! If you're the leader of facilitator, discuss ground rules like this. Don't let people downplay ground rules. They're important-and to be productive, we need them. Stress the importance of each individual playing along: rules don't work if one or two think they can get by without following them. Soon, the whole group catches on and the muck gets worse. If you use your mop-up techniques consistently, your agenda and your climate will stay clean and healthy.
Cyndi is gifted speaker, insightful trainer, popular author, and experienced communications consultant. To learn more about the dynamic programs that she delivers or hire her for your next event, check out her page on this website or call Jane today.