URL: http://www.esparzaspeakers.com/blog/index.php/view/17/Apologies_that_Work
. . . after all, no one is perfect!
Marsha Egan is not only the author of Inbox Detox, which I blogged about recently, and a dynamic speaker, but she's the consummate professional. This smart, well-connected, and well-respected businesswoman understands and appreciates relationships—personal and professional. And since we all have been known to say or do the wrong thing from time to time, Marsha suggests that we all devlop an appropriate attitude that allows us to acknowledge our erros and ask forgiveness when necessary. Here are a few observations from Marsha:
Unqualified. Any apology must be absent any conditions. Too many people apologize, then say something that makes it conditional upon some behavior by the other person. "I'm sorry I raised my voice, but if you hadn't shaken your fist at me I wouldn't have done it." Rather, ""I'm sorry I raised my voice."
Sincere. You've gotta mean that you are really sorry. Sometimes people apologize to get something in return. That just doesn't work in the long run.
Take responsibility. Owning up to whatever your contribution to the "issue" is can go a long way to resolution. "I realize now, that by being late, it compromised the quality of your meeting."
Regret. You're sorry, let the other person know. A genuine expression of regret shows that you care about the person you hurt.
Empathy. By trying to "see" the situation from the other side, you'll go a long way to moving projects and hurt relationships forward. "I appreciate how that communication may have offended you."
Remedy. Sometimes, things need to be fixed. What needs to be fixed? What will you do to fix it and when?
When and how?
ASAP. It is never too late to apologize.
In person, if at all possible. Phone is next. Email at last resort. (Editor's note: Email apologies really stink.)
Food for thought: "Apology is a lovely perfume; it can transform the clumsiest moment into a gracious gift." --Margaret Lee Runbeck
To learn more about Marsha Egan, the LeverEdge Coach, see her page on this website, or call 703.243.1620.